Happy Birthday !

Ok la.. 5 January was his birthday hehehe.. Happy Birthday ling2 ! K malas mau wish panjang2, just hoping that you are in safe hands and nda buat buat pelik2 😂 pls don't okay ling hehe

I love this person so much.. mmg la kami xda apa2 special rship or what and i don't want that pun..i'm sure he doesn't want it to..sbb knowing him, this is just not going to work.. true i love him so much, tpi aku tau he's not for me.. mcm mana ya..the way i felt for him, lain ba dari apa yg aku rasa dgn c mus..klu c mus, i will go all out to make him the person that i expecr him to be.. ling2 ni, I don't have any expectations. Just, go live your life the way you want to be.. aku x tegur apa2 pun just ckp padan muka seja la if tiba2 dia komplen ka apa..

Well..talking abt him kan.. see ba this;

K this photo is actually form Lela's ig..so i see la sepa her mutual followers.. tengok baa sepa tiba2 menyelit ni urghh

K i have no problem pun if lela mau follow him..TAPI FAHAM KA AWKWARD QPWODUHXXMVBDJSKWOWVBSA

i feel super duper awkward and malu ni sbb it's like he is part of the family, which he is not (yet) hahahaha.. ling2 kata dia xda problem pun so DIA FOLLOW BALIK ASTAGA.. budu ni aishhhh perlu ka ling2 seriously omg.. u can just approve her tpi nda payah la ba follow balik.. i iz maluu.. belum ready lagi mau ksi introduce kau properly to my siblings..

..

Duhh mmg la baa aku malu astaga.. 

Oh ada lagi mau show ni..

"bcewek la kita?"

Hahahhahahaha mmg la ba aku ckp i don't want pdhl berbunganya hatiku tym ni hahahahahahahaha.. tpi u still x berjaya make me pengsan..mybe sbb aku tau kot kau main2 seja..of coz 💁 players lagend kan hahaha.. i don't want to be one of your ex okay.. 

Yer i know if i said yes, he'll said "jeskidding"

Mcm la aku baru kenal dia semalam 🙄

Anyway.. 

I want to know how his birthday went ba..tpi aku malu mau tanya nanti dibilang busybody herm.. nanti pandai la tu dia buka cer hahaha.. aku xtau la..haritu we were like intense punya conversation ni sampai he told me abt his dark side.. which aku sbenarnya xmau tau pun psal dat side.. i guess dia mmg jenis yg open kot kot so he told me almost everything ! Sampai to the point that, the Hanafi that i know 9 years ago, x sama dgn Hanafi yg skrg okay..pdahal dulu sbb i know him way too superficial..so aku xtau what's inside hahaha

But yeah, now i get to know him a lot, aku tambah interested to know him. If my parents tau aku bkawan dgn org bgini, habislah aku haha.. i don't care. Sbb he taught me not to judge people okay..ni la pelajaran yg paling penting tpi aku x dapat growing up. So even he was that kind of person pun kan, he taught me a lot. Benda yg org2 nerd ni xkan dpt la. Dia may be nakal2 bgitu, sbb he's a free soul. Aku just hope that urusan IC dia settle cepat oh so he don't waste time mcm bgini. 

I know at the end of the day, i cannot do anything pun. But i still hope i can do sth for him..

Ok apa lagi ya..

Hmm i know i shouldn't talk abt this, tpi I don't know how to express it. It's been so toxic sampai masuk dlm mimpi suda.

Abt my father.

Idk if i shud write it here..tpi idk where aku mau meluah lagi.. lately i've been having a nightmare psal my dad, especially gaduh2. I don't to be anak derhaka ba but, i don't know. 

Maybe some other day kot..

Haihh malas la ckp psal benda ni..hopefully benda ni cpt resorb. And don't even guess benda ni pasal apa..it is more complicated than you thought it would be.

Mungkin sbb tu kali i like to talk abt ling2 rather than my problem..maybe that is my biggest problem..is not to be able to express my problem..

Awal2 dulu, mmg la i always talk to ling2 abt my problem, tpi since dia ckp dia ada gf ni, i try to distant myself a bit.. aku pun xtau la if he was serious abt having a gf, but hell yeahhh i was insecure gila jealous tercabar semua la.. tpi mcm teda rasa ni..aku lagi paling jeles paling terpaling jeles bila dia post sth psal bestfriend perempuan dia..hurm

At least he still trust me and shares pasal his friends. 

Pastu tadi jugak la, i talked to eva psal rship ni..betapa aku x sukanya ada lelaki pepandai seja mau pancing my bestfriend hello kau ingat kau kaya kau bole main ayat2 bgitu seja ka to tackle her..u need to pass through me dulu ok ! Kau nda lepas preliminary round dgn aku, sorry bossku..boleh cuba lagi. Aku syg ba c eva.. benci betul aku tgok sampah2 ni kasi main2 hati my laling ishh kau ingat ni mcm main bola sepak ka apa? Aku xmau jugak jdi penentu jodoh c eva sbb i know dia lagi tau apa yg dia mau n yg mcm mana dia mau, but i want the best for her ou.. i want her to be the happiest woman ever..and aku mau dia bahagia dgn psgn dia forever. X sanggup aku tgok dia sakit gara2 kena kasi main lelaki oh serious. 

And i didn't talk abt my new year resolution kan? Haha to be frank, i have nothing in mind..tpi klu org tanya, aku ckp la aku mau ada boyfriend..ckp seja la, adanya tu ndatau lagi mungkin ada mungkin teda hahaha.. mungkinkah i'll end up with someone this year? Who knows 🤔 i just cannot find someone yg berkualiti lagi ni utk dijadikan boyfriend hahahaha.. susah gila mau fall in love with someone like how i fell in love dgn c musbi dulu..belum ada org yg buat aku rasa mau pengsan, berdebar teruks and excited if dpt any text from them..goshh i miss those days hahahaha.. ada la ling2 yg bole buat aku excited bila terima his text, but tu jak la..belum lagi dia bole buat aku berdebar teruks..but idk, who knows what will happen later haha

And that doesn't mean that i'm berharap dgn him yaa.. just follow the flow, and we'll see where it will end..

Mcm Elfira Loy cakap la

Kerana cinta yang mati, aku bertemu cinta sejati ❤

Mati ka? I feel like i cinta mati lulz kbye