Please come, dear rainbow 🌈

It's been hot in Malaysia recently. I safely arrived home last Monday with my stuffs yg for others xda la banyak sangat, but for me that was a hell lot of stuffs wahaha.. rasa mcm hoarders pun ada.. pstu bila my sisters tanya2 barang apa semua tu and if they can have if, i was like "alamak, semua tu barang orang bagi. i brought it home so that i can store them properly..ended up my sisters yg ambik pulak hahaha"

Well, other man's trash is another man's treasure 😂

Speaking of trash, aku rasa aku ni trash sgat la weh. I need to take pills just to keep myself happy.. rasanya? Pathetic ! So pathetic !!

Dear ex (oh wait i need to mention your full name here, manatau dia tiba2 terajin mau Google nama dia ka.. at least bole la dia terbaca..lagi best klu gf dia yg baca fufufu)

Dear S Musbifamirwin bin Mustapa.
Congratulations for ruining my life. Congratulations for being happy.. and congratulations for getting what you always wanted. Oh pls do know yg aku tau u've been stalking me on Instagram lately. I'm not that stupid ya. Klu ya pun mau stalk, u don't have to show your phone number ok. Semua org ada smart phone, and you know what that means. Kau ni kan, aku mau suda hampir2 berjaya lupakan kau..sampai aku kena ambik antidepressants just to keep myself sane.

Kau tau ka apa yg aku perlu tempuh just to forget you? I have to lie. Convincing myself that you are dead. Kubur kau ada sana dekat Jalan Aman. Every night before aku tidur, aku akan imagine kau dekat deathbed, or tiba2 ada member call ckp kau tgh kritikal di hospital, mau jalan suda.. or kau mati eksiden.. or tiba2 kau lumpuh. Yg lumpuh tu ok lagi sbb aku sanggup jaga kau if kau ditakdirkan lumpuh..tu pun klu kau sanggup terima aku balik la dalam hidupmu..

Aku bukan doa yg bukan2.. tpi for me this is the only way yg aku kena buat other than ambik tu antidepressants just to keep my sanity in place. Kau xtau how messed up hidup aku lepas kau buang aku gara2 seorang wanita after what i have done for you. Mau maki pun nda cukup ouu.. teda makian yg setanding betapa shitnya kau masa tu.

Sampai ke tahap mcm tu sekali ya aku kena buat. Sampai ke tahap mcm tu..up to you la klu mau judge and ckp "ala just find another one laa".. tau ka aku kena ambik masa setahun just to betul2 fell in love dgn dia before we declare ourselves. Yes, crush to sekelip mata jak bole crush..tpi to really to be in love with someone, not as easy as that. Yaa bertuah la kau sbb in just a month, u found my replacement..on my birthday pulak tu.. haaa tepok laa gais tepookkkk !

Is it fair?
Org2 yg buat aku begini are happy dgn hidup dorg sekarang..
While aku? Kena ambik pil just to be happy.

Hmm biarlah.

Allah tengah uji ni..
Sabar sikit ya zana..

InsyaAllah..we'll get through this !